Sitting in Starbucks in the retail outlet in Swindon, having had a row in Clarks about which shoes my son will permit himself to year for school. He hates all of them, apparently, so on doubt there’ll be more rows next week when I try and make him wear the ones I’ve chosen. I have shopping, how on earth people become shopaholics I’ll never know, my head hurts. Can you tell how happy I am? Bag humbug grumble groan

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